Gray...

The sky is so muted.

The black of the bark in stark contrast to the snow that clings to it's scales.

All is not lost though.

As I look closer, I am able to see the colors.

Hidden among the gray.  Tiny but striking none the less.

As in life, it is hard to see the bits of color when we are so taken by what is gray.  The colors try to meld, but they are unmistakably separate in effect.

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After a 12 hour sleepless night spent in an arm chair by a bed in a tiny apartment, holding the hand of my husband's sweet Gram.  Helping her to the bathroom, giving her breathing treatments and medication to ease her distress.

I am spent.

It is only a matter of time and we are all saddened, yet relieved.

~Saddened that she will no longer be with us.

~Relieved that she will no longer struggle with every breath.

Is that possible....to be both?

I hope so.
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Being a nurse, I am usually so calloused to the process.

Cut and dry.  

Professional.

I am programmed in regards to the End.

But this morning when I returned home to my husband and boy, I was crippled.   Tears free flowing.  Arms to hold me..... filled.

And I see it now..... my home is the color in this time of gray.

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Blessed is an understatement.

I am.