Babies...

I was a mere 24 years old when I had my boy.  As a rule for the current trend... I was a young mom.  While all of my friends were still looking for Mr. Right, I had found him.  While they were in no rush to settle down, I was aching to begin the next step in my course of growing up.

And now five years later many of those girls are having babies.  Feeling that intense love for the first time.  And they're excited.  And I'm excited for them. 

But the twinge that I thought would be there... is not there.  As of now, I have no urge to have another little one.

I love my own boy more that I ever thought possible.  I love the feel of his little body felt in my arms and the downy hair that covered his little head when he was a baby.  I nursed him through the night, sleeping in the twin bed in his room and never complained for one second of it.  His little body molded to mine in a way that only the boy that I had MADE with my own body could. 

So many memories.  First steps, first foods, first words, first day of school ...they all belong to him and him alone.  

I kind of like that.

And so I sew.

For other new Mamas.

I sew to scratch the itch ahead of schedule...the itch that I anticipate feeling in the years to come.  

The tears that will flow when my  boy no longer comes looking for me in the middle of the night.

And I think that I'm OK with that.

For now.