While I was away...

Well, that was intense! 

I'm glad that it is over.

The way that I felt, you would have thought that my world was crumpling around me.  I know that it sounds so melodramatic (and I am so NOT one for DRAMA!), but honestly....

I was a complete mess.

Case in point...

I was just standing there, relaying my excuses to my mom and Laura why I couldn't possibly go to the city with them.

"I have a lot of things to do. I have do laundry and get groceries and I want to go for a walk."

And, and, and... 

My mom just looked at me skeptically....she knew. 

(Of course she knew....Why is it that mothers are so intuitive? )

She asked me "What is the matter?"  (She used that tone reserved only for use by mothers..  You know the one that I'm talking about, don't you....the tone of care, the tone so full of love that it drips compassion...That's my mom alright.)

I could feel the tears stinging at the back of my eyes, the tightening in my throat.   I just shook my head, I turned away and pretended to adjust the seatbelt.

I bit my lip.

Don't...Don't do it.  Pull it together.  Breathe.

But I couldn't.

Suffocation.

"Tell me Julia." She said.  (There was that tone again.)

And so, I did.  I told her and my father and my twin.  I told anyone that I loved.  I told anyone who would listen in that moment.  And I realized that with each new time that I opened up, something new came bubbling to the surface.  Something else that was festering deep down inside escaped my lips.  And each thing was something that I had been putting off, procrastinating on, or that had just been frustrating me. 

It was self imposed and it was out of my control... it was big and it was little....and it was everything and it was nothing at all....all rolled into one.

Sometimes it just takes the ear of someone who cares to help you sort everything out.

And so that is what I have done...I got my act together (with the help of my family ).  And then I did some things to help make the changes that I wanted to see in myself.

Every day I made the choice to...

Get out of bed.

Go for a walk...to my favorite place. 

Do something that makes me smile (like buy a $3.00 bouquet of happiness.)

Get dirty ( I mean REALLY dirty)

Do some sewing. (I'll show you soon.)

Spend quality time with my boy.

Eat good food.

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And the treat of the week....the thing that really put a smile on my face and pulled me from the PIT of funk-dom-ness, was a surprise 2 hour phone call from a dear friend.   I forgot three quarters of the important stuff that we talked about....but I do know that there was a LOT of chit chatting and giggles.

Her timing was perfection. 

I feel ever so much better. 

Planets aligned, brain decompressed.  Humor and well being are renewed.

I am a lucky, lucky girl to have such a wonderful family and wonderful friends in all of you.

Thank you.